The Cutest Demon
by RudeMinnesotan
Summary: Series: Unhinged; Agent of Chaos. After the last time went FUBAR, Harry learned how to ignore Jenova properly. As a result, when he is reborn as Sephiroth's 'oops' baby, he decides to make sure that his new daddy doesn't get taken over by the mean old lady and has a grand ole time doing it. GEN. Implied Slash? Don't Own. Complete.


**Chapter 1 - The Cutest Demon**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

**AN: Don't take this too seriously. I don't. *Follow The Bouncing Muse.***

**Beta'd by Scarletdewdrops. **

... ... …

* * *

Everything happened so fast. To begin with, Genesis and Angeal were recounting their conquests- the former more than the latter. For all that Genesis would probably only ever fall in love with his own reflection in the mirror, he certainly liked to sleep around.

Then Genesis tried to bring Sephiroth of all people into the conversation.

"How about you Sephiroth? Who has the great honor of being your favorite conquest?" The Crimson Commander leered at the silver-haired man who was attempting to do his paperwork while his two friends had a slightly uncomfortable, for him, conversation in his office.

"I do not have one," Sephiroth answered succinctly, not looking away from his computer screen.

"What?" Angeal replied, sitting up and actually fully paying attention since he had been distracted by his phone. "Surely someone's at least stood out."

Sephiroth released the smallest sigh, turning to look at his (strange) friends. "I have never had sex."

"What do you mean 'NEVER'?" Genesis squawked, sitting up all indignant. "NEVER never?"

"Is there another definition of the word that I was not aware of?"

"Sephiroth," Angeal said his name in a scolding manner and the man in question just looked at his friend blankly. How else was he supposed to react to Genesis' query?

The red-head in question waved his hands in the air, fluttering in a way to rid the air of all the previous comments. "Nevermind all that. We need to fix this. I can't, in good conscience, allow my friend to remain a virgin. Sephiroth, go to your room."

The Silver General sat back in his chair and stared at Genesis, but the Crimson Commander was already distracted, tapping away on his phone as he left the office. Angeal looked to Genesis, back to Sephiroth, then ran out after the one actively creating a situation. Best to run damage control.

… … …

Sephiroth went to his room but in his own time. He had reports to finish after all.

When he arrived, there was a woman asleep on his bed.

"Excuse me, miss." He didn't dare touch her. She wasn't wearing enough clothes. When she did stir, he tried again. "Miss?" Should he poke her with Masamune?

Thankfully, he didn't have to answer that question as she woke up. "Huh? Oh! Hey, sweetie," the woman leered at him in such a way that made the general uncomfortable. He shifted where he stood, custom jacket hung over his arm. "I was wondering when you'd show up."

Sephiroth stared at her and nodded slowly. "I am here." And before she could say more, "Why are you?"

"Oh, honey," she rose to her feet and took a step towards him. It was a testament to how uncomfortable he was at that moment that he, the Demon of Wutai, actually took a step back. "I ain't gon' hurt ya."

"No, I could probably kill you in twenty different ways before you cross the room," Sephiroth replied amicably, having reached the wall and was unable to back up anymore. She continued to advance on him, though the comment caused her to falter for a second, remembering who exactly this was.

Oh well. She had been here for 3 hours already. Best payday ever.

"Do ya know who I am?"

"No, you have not introduced yourself. I am Sephiroth."

She smiled, almost laughing. "I know who ya are, sweetie. Everyone knows who ya are."

The woman had got awfully close. Sephiroth could smell her across the room, but this close her scent was nearly overwhelming … Was he blushing?

"I'm called Tonya. Yer friend Genesis hired me to help ya."

"I do not require any assistance at this time. You may leave." Without removing his eyes from the woman, Sephiroth gestured with the arm that held his coat towards the door.

Tonya rose both of her eyebrows and nodded. "Uh-huh, well, that's not what Genesis said. He said to not take no for an answer and ta not let you leave this room a virgin."

"And you listened?" Sephiroth was slightly amused at what this woman thought she could do to prevent such a thing. But as he wasn't stupid, in fact, was a genius, it was easy to understand what exactly she meant. "You… are a prostitute. Genesis hired me a prostitute?"

"We like to be called Honey Bees, darlin'," replied Tonya, "At least those from ma hive do." There was no longer any distance between them and she put a hand on his chest.

He opened his mouth to tell her to remove her hand from his person, an automatic reaction born from gratuitous repetition. But then he actually computed all of the data he had been given since returning to his apartment.

One: Genesis had apparently made it his mission to 'help' Sephiroth with something the man couldn't fathom (ie: being a virgin).

Two: As a result of (1), Genesis had hired him a prostitute named Tonya.

Three: Tonya smelt nice and was pretty.

Four: All of this was on Genesis' dime.

Finally, the Silver General smiled. While this was an activity he never really would have sought out for himself, he wasn't about to say no to something that had been handed to him on a silver platter.

Later, after the woman had left and Sephiroth was busy detangling his freshly washed hair- apparently fornication is even worse than a monster disposal mission for his locks- he thought back to everything that happened.

While he did find it enjoyable, it was just too… wet? No, that wasn't quite the right word. Maybe it was too sweaty, but he got sweaty all the time when working out or on assignment.

Whatever adjective he considered it, there was far too much skin on skin contact to feel entirely sanitary for the man.

… … …

A few days later:

Genesis was checking the balance of his account like a responsible adult and nearly fell out of his chair in shock at the charge to the Honey Bee Inn. That was a lot of gil! How long did Sephiroth keep her?! That man was a beast!

… Genesis wanted him.

(What actually happened was after her nap and the sex, they just played board games to run up Genesis' tab.)

… … …

"Who- Genesis. Not again." Sephiroth asked, rising from his desk and stepping around to rest against the front of it, arms folded over his chest in an effort to appear intimidating.

"Hey sweetie, yer secretary is awfully nice and once she saw who I was holdin', she let me right in." Tonya, the Honey Bee he had slept with a few months ago, declared as she slung a pair of bags off her shoulder and grasped the straps with both hands.

Genesis, ever the curious being, rose from his seat on the couch and stepped over. "What you're holding?"

"Nah what," Tonya actually smirked. "Who." She carefully set both bags down, the one zipped shut tipping onto the side. The handles of the canvas tote fell open and revealed…

Everyone was silent for several moments. Genesis was the first to speak up, "I know this was my idea and all, but in my defense, when I found out you were a virgin and ordered you a Honey, I did NOT expect you to put a baby in the lady.

"Though, thinking back to how long you had her for, it's not that surprising…" This was said as a bit of an afterthought, as Genesis was reminded of that ridiculous charge to his account. And he couldn't keep from leering at the Silver-haired general as he considered _that stamina_ again.

"There is absolutely no way that is mine." Sephiroth contained his sigh, but not his eye roll. "Hojo tests every SOLDIER for sterility annually in the hopes of making a second-generation without any luck. We are all 'shooting blanks' to put it colloquially."

"Well, one of them was a live round, honey, because he's definitely yers." Tonya pointed down to the silver-haired babe that was sleeping comfortably in a bag on the floor, only cushioned by what appeared to be a hot pink feather boa.

"Hair can be changed," Angeal said in defense, though he could not imagine anyone dying the hair of a baby.

"Take a look at his eyes," retorted Tonya, dropping down in a perfect squat and poking the baby in the forehead. "Wakey Wakey, Azzy."

"Azzy?" Angeal spoke up again.

"Short for Azazel," replied Tonya without missing a beat, "Come on, open your eyes for Daddy."

Curious despite himself, Sephiroth leaned forward from his desk as the baby opened his eyes. Green eyes, nearly identical to Sephiroth's eyes, showed clearly… but it was that slit pupil that dilated and flashed before locking onto his own that gave it away.

Sephiroth knew in an instant and his body moved before he thought, scooping the child from the floor. How DARE that woman leave HIS CHILD on the FLOOR? The glare he shot at her was acid as he carefully nuzzled the child to his chest, glad that the day's meetings meant that he was in a comfortable sweater rather than his standard leather uniform.

Tonya grinned when Sephiroth glared. She opened her mouth to say, 'Toldja,' but Sephiroth actually growled at her. The Bee just laughed.

"Welp, s'all settled, then." She got to her feet after snatching up the bag holding her boa and the sequined scarf that had been Azazel's blanket. After a totally necessary adjustment to pull her skin-tight pants out of uncomfortable places due to the squat, she went to the door.

Genesis snatched up the eco bag once it was abandoned by both parents. He searched through it, impressed by the zipper on such a cheap bag, and found very minimal baby supplies.

Angeal was the one who stopped her at the door, wondering why a mother would give up her child. "Can't have 'im in da Hive. It's not like a Bee's contract comes with maternity benefits." She rolled her eyes and glanced back at the baby she was leaving behind. "'Sides, that kid grew so damned fast he gave me stretch marks I'll never recover from. Have fun." She finally left with a sloppy two-fingered salute.

Back in the office, Genesis had laid out everything from the bag on the coffee table. "Diapers, two bottles and what looks like an extra…" He held up the bottle's nipple that he didn't know the name of and flicked it a few times, snickering like a child.

"Genesis, focus," scolded Angeal, going to join his friend at the table. "Is there any paperwork for him in there?"

"Heh heh heh… What?" Mako eyes turned to look at their fellow commander then nodded. "Yeah, birth certificate and a tiny medical record. The little demon appears to be hale and hearty."

"Do not call my child a demon," Sephiroth finally spoke up from his spot, once more leaning on the desk. The new father had yet to take his eyes off of his son's, the pair almost off in their own little world.

"But you're the Demon of Wutai, it's only fitting," retorted Genesis with a laugh, handing the paperwork off to Angeal as he went to get a closer look at his friend's child. Once Genesis got a good look, he added, "Plus being that cute should be criminal. Is this what you looked like as a baby, Sephiroth?"

Green eyes flicked up to look at the Redhead before back down to his son. "I wouldn't know. If Hojo took any pictures, they're locked in my confidential folder and I have never seen them."

Genesis nodded in response… then his jaw dropped. "Sephiroth. You used a contraction."

"What? Absurd."

"You did. I heard you. Angeal, tell me you heard that too!"

The dark-haired commander nodded, looking up from the papers. "I did actually. You used two contractions, my friend."

Sephiroth opened his mouth… then slowly closed it, replaying the conversation. Then he looked down at his son who smiled at him. "He has corrupted me."

Genesis started to cackle then, "_My friend, the fates are cruel!_" Daring to do it, he reached out and booped the kid on the nose before leaving the office, still laughing. Sephiroth, frozen in shock, couldn't retaliate for someone daring to touch his child. The baby went cross-eyed, trying to look at his own nose.

From around the edge of the open doorway came a head of giant black spikes. "Heeey!" Zack called, "Can we come in?"

Angeal glanced to the doorway, vaguely remembering some kind of promise he had made to his protégée, "Zack, now might not be the best time…"

Right as he finished talking, Sephiroth looked up and made eye contact with the Third Class. "Zackary. Perfect timing."

Zack beamed, even though the general had used the full version of his name that wasn't actually his name and bounced into the room. The energetic teen had also dragged a blond cadet in with him.

"Sephiroth," scolded Angeal, setting down the papers he was still holding, but he didn't get much farther than that before the man in question steamrolled over him.

"Zackary, I need you to acquire some things for me." Sephiroth had carefully shifted his son into the crook of his right arm so that he could use his left to scribbled out a list and a series of numbers. "Here is the list." It was handed over quickly. "The number is my account. I am trusting you with this, Zackary. Do not betray my trust."

The paper was held just out of Zack's reach as Sephiroth glared at his friend's student, sceptical at the sight of the teen's growing mischievous smile. "Got it, Seph!" Zack saluted even though he was unable to contain his bouncing. That is until, "Holy Shiva, is that a BABY?" The paper was forgotten as the Third Class crowded the General to get a good look at the kid.

Meanwhile, Cloud moved back to hover in the doorway, unsure if he was really allowed in the room but didn't want to risk Zack chasing him down by slinking away.

Sephiroth growled at Zack just like before, but didn't actually force the teen's hands away from his child. He knew Zack was safe, instincts told him so, so he allowed gloved hands to gently prod at his son. The adoration in purple eyes was enough to let Sephiroth know that he had another staunch protector for his son.

Not that his son would need it. He would be just as strong as his father.

"Oh wow, he looks just like you Seph." Zack wiggled his finger at the baby, whose eyes followed it way too keenly- not that anyone in the room noticed because Zack had looked up to ask, "Is he yours?"

"Obviously."

Angeal rolled his eyes. It sure hadn't taken Sephiroth long to change his tune. "Didn't you have a reason to be here, Zack?"

"OH RIGHT!"

"Zackary, the list," Sephiroth interrupted, shoving it directly in the teen's face so hard it stuck to his forehead. "You, blond cadet, play Chocobo for the puppy."

Cloud blinked wide a few times, pointing a finger at his chest to ask, 'Who, me?'

"HAH!" Zack laughed, peeling the paper from his face and bouncing back to Cloud to put him in a headlock. "Seph called you a chocobo."

"Zackkkkk," whined Cloud, trying to shove the SOLDIER off of him. "He told me to PLAY chocobo, not that I AM one."

"Same-same." Their voices drifted off down the hall as they vanished and Sephiroth returned to his seat to cradle his son.

The room finally lapsed into silence and after a few minutes, Angeal deemed it safe to approach, snatching up those precious papers as he did. "Here."

Sephiroth blinked wide eyes up to Angeal, glancing between the papers and the man's face several times before taking them delicately. A quick glance told him what they were and Sephiroth lowered his son to his lap, carefully cradling him between his thighs. "Thank you…"

"This is a huge responsibility, Sephiroth."

"I know that, Angeal."

"I'm sure you do, but this isn't like that plant I gave you for your eighteenth birthday."

"That was not my fault, I was deployed to Wutai for a month."

Angeal gave him a look. "You could have asked one of us to look after the plant. The same goes for Azazel."

At the sound of his name, the baby's eyes locked onto the speaker with such precision that if anyone had noticed, it would have been unnerving.

"Azazel?" Sephiroth looked at the birth certificate again to verify, yes, indeed, that was his son's name. "Not the nicest name."

"A fallen angel?" Angeal asked, but Sephiroth shook his head.

"A demon. A scapegoat. I suppose Genesis was apt in referring to him as a little demon." Just like the redhead, Sephiroth tapped his son on the nose. "But he is the cutest demon here."

Not that Sephiroth would tolerate people referring to his son as such.

… … …

It took a few hours, but Zack and Cloud eventually returned with several large bags of stuff. Cloud had indeed played chocobo, dragging a collapsible wagon full of items that had been on that hastily scribbled note. Zack was the one carrying the heavier stuff.

They arrived just at the right time to watch Sephiroth, the twenty-year-old new father struggling with changing a fussing baby's diaper.

"Uh, sir?" Cloud ventured, watching the surreal situation in front of him.

Zack covered his mouth but was definitely laughing considering the look in his eyes. The pair watched for a few moments before Zack couldn't take it anymore and went to offer help. "Seph, you've got the diaper backward."

"I knew that," snapped the general, who had been divested of his shirt. It was nowhere to be seen, but the smell of piss was pretty evident. It was easy to guess what happened.

Standing near to the general, Zack observed as he twisted the diaper another way and the baby lifted both legs up just as Sephiroth tried to close the tab. Again, the Third Class started laughing.

Cloud, unsure of what to do, decided to set up the first of two playpens. Best to be useful, he figured.

"Stay still, Azazel," Sephiroth commanded his son, tossing that diaper towards the waste bin. Zack tracked it with his eyes and spotted four more unused yet ruined diapers inside already.

"Wow, you're really bad at this, Seph," noted Zack, eyes back on the man who was basically his boss. "You want any help?"

"I am a certified genius. I can figure out how to put a diaper on my own son."

Zack nodded, "Uh-huh, sure you can," he said as he watched the man fail again. "Please, let me get the diaper on him? Seph? You can go pick out a new outfit for him to wear."

Sephiroth, in a fit of rage, threw the diaper on the floor and stalked over to the blond cadet to do as Zack suggested. Cloud tried his best not to panic and continued snapping the pieces of the playpen into place.

"All right. Azazel, right?" Zack said to the baby, who stared back up into purple eyes. "You're a smart one, ain'tcha?" Zack tickled the baby's feet and he giggled. "Good demon."

"Do not call my son a demon," Sephiroth retorted, calmer now as he shifted through the sinfully cute baby clothes Zack and Cloud had picked out. "If that is the first word he says, I will assume you are to blame and respond accordingly."

Zack flapped his hand in the air, getting Azazel cleaned up quickly, even though he had been cleaned up before, then powdered. Making funny faces at the baby to keep him distracted, it took just a few seconds for Zack to have him secured in his new diaper.

"There we go. The last one it seems too. Good thing I bought a bunch more," Zack carefully picked up Azazel and walked over to where Sephiroth was surrounded by clothes. "I bought you a bunch of cloth diapers too. Thought you would appreciate that."

"Cloth diapers?" Sephiroth looked up to Zack from the clothes. A flash of 'I'm fucking overwhelmed, help' flashed through the general's eyes and Zack melted. It was so cute. Almost as cute as the General's son.

"Don't worry. Uncle Zack will explain everything, Seph."

… … …

It only took a month for Sephiroth to realize why, exactly, Tonya had shown up with a baby only a few months after they had been together.

Azazel was clearly growing faster than normal.

According to his birth certificate, he should only be four months old, but developmentally he was clearly over a year old. His size indicated that as well.

"This is worrying," Sephiroth confided in Angeal while watching his son stand at the edge of the coffee table in his living room while attempting to stack blocks. "He already has molars growing in, Angeal. Molars. He's a baby still."

The last sentence was hissed out, the contraction more than the tone actually signalling just how distressed the man was.

Angeal remained calm and nudged the cup of tea towards Sephiroth and after a sip had been taken, he offered his (rather poor) advice. "Have you considered taking Azzy to a doctor?"

Sephiroth scoffed and glared at Angeal. "And let Hojo catch wind of him? It is a miracle my son has not been spirited off yet, I do not wish to Tempt the Fates ."

A huffed laugh left Angeal. "Did you pick that up from Zack's little cadet?" Since Azazel had come into their lives, Cloud had been spending a lot more time around them. Mostly because the tiny cadet made a surprisingly reliable babysitter. Probably because his schedule was a lot more open than theirs.

"Maybe there's a doctor somewhere else you could take him too?" suggested Angeal, "Maybe in Junon? Or Kalm?"

Sephiroth hummed at that, glancing back to look at his son who was babbling at the blocks. His hair, more a dark gunmetal grey than his own silver tones, was pulled up in a ridiculous pair of pigtails. "I will look into that idea…"

"Papa!" Azazel shouted then, waving a red block around and then throwing it at the man. Sephiroth caught it and Azazel clapped proudly, taking several running steps towards Sephiroth before falling onto his knees and crawling the rest of the way.

Sephiroth chuckled and set the block down on the counter and scooped up his son. "Good job, son. You have a very good arm."

"Good, good. Yeeeeh, Azzy good." The baby babbled in reply, headbutting his father's shoulder and then nuzzling it.

Angeal stared at the pair, wondering how normal this was for them. He didn't often hang out with Sephiroth and Azazel in their apartment, having been too busy with Zack, so this was… new. "Does he do that often?"

"Occasionally," confirmed Sephiroth, nuzzling his son back, their noses brushing.

The commander worked his mouth up and down a few times, then just decided to snap a picture of the two. When both turned matching green eyes onto him, he took a second. "Now I understand why Genesis sends so many of these to me…" he muttered, sending these two to Genesis.

Sephiroth opened his mouth to say something… then paused. "Forward them to me?"

… … …

It had been six months since Azazel had come into their lives. His actual age was nine months old, but developmentally he was nearly four. He recognized all of the people in his life by name and had proclaimed them all uncle.

At the moment the youngest of their group, Cloud and Zack, had pulled 'entertainment' duty for the child, keeping him occupied in one of the gyms while Sephiroth got caught up on his paperwork.

That's when the warning message came from Tseng, who had been ensnared by Azazel's unique brand of cuteness like several dozen people before him.

It was a simple text with two words.

Code H.

Sephiroth nearly crushed his PHS as rage overwhelmed him.

Through the red mist, he replied: Time?

Tseng shot back a quick: 10 min. He got velds

"Fuck," Sephiroth cursed his luck that the Turks assigned to Code H were not among Tseng's circle of influence, and therefore not people who had met and were under Azazel's tiny little thumb. As he rose from his desk, he sent off a message to the group chat he had with Azazel's uncles. The same message that Tseng sent him.

Code H. 10 min.

Elsewhere, Azazel had managed to run from Zack and Cloud during a game of tag. Mostly because he had grabbed a chair and thrown it at Cloud, hitting the poor cadet directly in the face.

Zack had stopped to check on his much more destructible friend and when he looked up, Azazel was gone.

A few minutes later when he got the message from Sephiroth, he knew that they were sooo dead.

… … …

"I don't like this," Nunchaku said for the third time as they tracked the 'target' on their hacked PHS. "Target acquisition doesn't usually involve a child…"

Gun sent the new member a look and snatched the PHS from him. "We have our orders. The company wants the asset, we get the asset."

Legend shook his head, glancing at the PHS, but not commenting… though he agreed with Nunchaku. "There. 43rd floor. Hurry."

Gun and Nunchaku went for the elevator while Legend headed for the stairs.

It only took a few minutes for them to pin down the target, a nice pincer move that locked it in a hallway.

"Hello," the child said, absolutely adorable with a pair of braided pigtails dangling on either side of his head. Gun was painfully reminded of her younger sister at that age and it took all of her training to resist cooing.

Nunchaku, being a new agent, couldn't help himself.

Surprisingly, Legend couldn't help himself either. He blamed it on the fact that he was still rather anti-ShinRa.

Of the three, Gun was the first to scoop up the child. Legend got to her side second. "We can't do it," he whispered to her. Nunchaku came third, just barely catching what Legend said and nodding.

"What do we do then? I'm not willing to go against the company and especially… him. It's the kid or us, you know the rule." The rule was usually unspoken but everyone knew it.

Azazel's green eyes tracked the conversation easily but was just as easily bored with it. "What your name?" He asked the woman holding him.

She blinked in surprise, taken from the conversation with her fellow Turks to the child in her arms. "... I'm Gun."

"Gun is funny name. I'm Azzy. Nice to meet you!" He stuck his hand out to her and she shuffled him to one hip carefully so she could shake his hand. One more look into his eyes and her resolve crumbled.

"Damnit," she muttered, "Plan thirty-four gamma, let's go."

Legend's eyes lit up and he took off after Gun as she went for the stairwell. Nunchaku followed, asking, "What is Plan thirty-four gamma?"

"I'll fill you in on the way, come on," Legend grabbed him by the suit jacket and hauled him into the stairwell where the Turks could quickly disappear off the grid.

… … …

"HOJO!" Sephiroth hollered as he entered the Science Department. "What have you done with him?!"

The doctor in question lifted his head from his experiment and sneered. "What are you talking about?"

"MY SON! What have you done with my SON?"

"Oh." Hojo's eyes lit up. "Subject S2-A. It should be here soon."

The lab assistants near the enraged general could hear the handle of his sword creak as he gripped it tight and they promptly fled the lab. When Sephiroth heard Hojo refer to his son- his beautiful, perfect, wonderful, amazing, fantastic son- as an IT? He nearly lost it.

"Say it again. I dare you." The words were growled out, tone much more animalistic than anyone had ever heard before.

Hojo hummed as he looked at his creation clinically and snapped out, "Perform Emotion Regulation Exercise 12C while I document this."

Sephiroth automatically began taking deep, steady breaths, not that it really did much good. No amount of deep breathing or meditation or any of the other procedures he'd been taught could quell the rage that consumed him at the thought of his son under Hojo's knife.

"Hmm," The professor contemplated Sephiroth for another moment then picked up his PHS and clicked on the recorder. "Project S. Observation. Subject is adversely affected with the thought of its progeny being removed from its care. Emotional response unacceptable. Probable need for isolation, rehabilitation, and retraining. Test for Reunion reactions, as well." The PHS was clicked off and set down.

Then Hojo turned back to look at the angry father and spread his arms wide as if performing benediction, "Don't you see Sephiroth? This is the next step in the evolution of SOLDIER. Your genes will contribute to …"

At this point, Sephiroth was just someone to monologue at, but even if the general wanted to he couldn't hear what the crazed man was saying anymore. All he could hear was a ringing in his ears. A painful ringing had replaced all other sounds.

Slowly Hojo's words came back in through the ringing, just in time for Sephiroth to hear, "...it will, of course, need to be autopsied after-"

He refused to listen anymore. This creature in front of him was a threat to his son. Sephiroth knew what to do with threats.

It took less than a second to lift Masamune and bring it down on a diagonal. Hojo actually blinked twice before his body separated and fell to the floor. Several pieces of equipment followed suit due to the reach of the blade.

After taking a careful cleansing breath, finally finishing Emotion Regulation Exercise 12C, Sephiroth flourished his wrist to flick the blood off Masamune and snatched up Hojo's PHS to see if it would reveal anything about what had happened to his son.

… … …

A few hours later saw Sephiroth standing in front of the President and the barely twenty-year-old Vice-President.

The President was raging about how Sephiroth had killed the head of the Science Department and had yet to give the man a chance to respond. Finally, the President ran out of breath and Sephiroth spoke.

"Hojo threatened my child. Section 39, division 12, subsection F of the terms and conditions of the SOLDIER contract states that any SOLDIER is allowed to protect their family in any way they see fit."

The president blustered in response. He didn't know anything about the contracts his people signed. He had people who had people for that.

Rufus quirked a brow and smirked. He knew that clause… But… "Father, please stop. You know it is common sense not to poke a mother dragon." He paused, waiting for his father to comprehend that… then he pointed a finger at Sephiroth and added, "This is the man we send to KILL dragons."

Both men watched as the President slowly made sense of what his son was saying… then gulped audibly.

Thankfully, the president was saved by a contingent of Turks arriving in his office. A group of about six lead by Tseng with a child-sized head peeking over someone's shoulder in the middle of them. In an attempt to salvage the situation, the president prattled, "Ah, Haa, I see you've brought the boy to his father, just as- as I ordered. Uhhahahahaa..."

"Papa!" Azazel shouted, using Legend as a springboard to launch himself at Sephiroth. The General caught his son easily, tucking him under his chin so he could cuddle him close. His nose was quickly buried in gunmetal grey hair and he inhaled deeply, the new scents of the Turks lurking around the unique smell that was Azazel's alone.

"Azzy okay Papa, don' be sad," Azazel pat his father's chest a few times before clenching a fist around one of the leather straps on his chest. "I had fun. Lots of fun. Fun with Gun. Fun Gun show me how to clean gun. Fun fun fun!"

The Turk in question didn't flinch when Sephiroth glared at her, but it was a narrow thing.

Tseng had detached from the group immediately to go speak to the President and the man cleared his throat, finally. Sephiroth spun around and aimed his glare at the president, body angled in such a way that Azazel was protected with his own.

"That will be all Sephiroth," the President declared. "Just… Don't do it again."

With a careful balance that Sephiroth had mastered, he held his son with one arm and reached out with his sword with the other. Tseng did nothing as the sword was pointed directly in the president's face.

"Try me, bitch," Sephiroth stated, tapping the president on the nose with Masamune before sweeping out of the room, childish giggling following him.

Rufus made eye contact with Tseng and the pair left the office together, the other Turks not far behind.

"Do you know the clause he claimed?" Rufus asked, glancing at Tseng out of his peripherals.

The Turk hummed then cited the exact one Sephiroth had mere moments prior.

Rufus smirked, shaking his head slightly. "You do know that clause only applies to monsters, right?"

Tseng stopped and turned his flat gaze onto the Vice-President. "Are you saying the good doctor wasn't a monster?"

"Oh no," replied Rufus with a small dismissive gesture. "I'm complimenting him. It was clever. Is clever. But I don't think it will work again."

"Thankfully there are few other monsters in this company," Tseng replied, not realizing he had just invoked the power of Murphy.

… … …

In the aftermath of Hojo's death, the next available head of the department was Hollander, who was ecstatic with the promotion.

A few more months passed without much of interest happening, aside from Azazel's continued abnormal growth. They did manage to find a discrete doctor within the company who would help them monitor the child, but everything seemed to be fine.

Somehow, there was a decent amount of mako in Azazel's body that helped to heal him from any pain or issues that would crop up from his accelerated growth. Sephiroth knew this was probably due to Hojo's continuous tinkering with his body. It began in utero and didn't stop until his death, but really… Sephiroth couldn't help but be glad for it now.

It was a terrible thing. But it allowed him to still have his son.

At the moment, he was in a VR room with his friends, as well as the puppy and the cadet. Cloud was helping his son, who was as tall as some six-year-olds now, work with a wooden practice sword. They figured Azazel was actually closer to five than six based off the stick-to-the-wall growth chart they had purchased, but he was pretty tall. Just like his daddy.

"_My friend, do you fly away now?_" began Genesis from where he was sitting off to the side with Angeal. The latter was carefully polishing the Buster Sword while the former read from his book. "_To a world that abhors you and I? / All that awaits you is a somber morrow / no matter where the winds may blow / My friend your desire…_"

Sephiroth let the words wash over him with an honestly happy smile, listening to the sounds of his family around him.

When Genesis finally trailed off, Sephiroth turned to his friend with that same look on his face and stated simply, "Loveless, Act III."

Their moment was ruined when a large chunk of splintered wood came sailing from the left with a shouted, "Look out!" from Cloud.

Genesis turned towards the voice then moved to duck, but couldn't move fast enough to get completely out of the way. A piece of broken practice sword smashed into his back instead of his face and he crumbled against Angeal's side. The Buster sword went skittering to the floor so the man could catch the other.

"Unca Gen!" Azazel screamed, running over to his oldest uncle with tears streaming down his face. "I sorry, I sorry, I'm so so so soso sorry!" He threw himself against Genesis' legs, clinging to them tightly.

Genesis tried hard to keep the pain from his face, looking up to meet Angeal's eyes. In barely a whisper that killed his pride, he claimed, "My shoulder… It's dislocated" and the other man's eyes went wide.

"Okay," Angeal nodded. "Hold on." Their bodies would heal quickly so the shoulder had to be popped back into place before it healed as is.

With a crying Azazel still in his lap, Angeal braced Genesis and forced the shoulder back into place. Genesis groaned- that had hurt worse than it should have- and dropped his head down.

"Don't worry, Azzy," Genesis soothed, running his gloved hands through the child's long hair. "I'll be fine. Just you wait." He forced a smile onto his face, even though he could already tell that his body wasn't quite right.

"Really, truly, seriously, honestly, Unca Gen?" Azazel looked up to Genesis with a tear-streaked face and Genesis carefully brushed them away. Sephiroth came up behind his son, his hand held out to show his bracer as a silent offer of a Cure. Genesis shook his head in reply and Sephiroth nodded.

"I'm really sorry Commander," Cloud offered, "He was practicing an overhead jump and Zack distracted me. I reacted and the sword broke. I didn't expect it to go flying like that."

"It's all right, Cloud," Genesis replied, even though he had to hide a wince as he turned to look at the cadet who was so close to graduating. "You have good reactions. That will help you in SOLDIER."

The fair-skinned blond flushed easily at the praise and received a noogie from Zack as a result.

Azazel, having cried himself out, was gathered up by Sephiroth. "I think it is time for Azazel's nap." It was obvious, but he stated it anyway. He nodded his farewells and left the VR room.

"Spikey here's got class soon, and I've got my own to watch," The now Second Class declared after. "So we'll cya later too!" and the pair left, wrestling each other out the door.

Angeal stood and picked up the Buster Sword and glanced at his friend. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Genesis looked up to Angeal and smiled, "_There is no hate, only joy / for you are beloved of the Goddess._" was his reply and Angeal rolled his eyes in response.

If Genesis was quoting Loveless then he was surely fine.

Surely.

… … …

Genesis groaned, rolling onto his side and clutching his left shoulder. It had been a week and it still hurt. There had been a minor bruise from the sword and a tiny scratch that had managed to penetrate through his coat but both had escalated into a full-blown Problem.

He had cast Cure and Curaga on it twice to no avail. If anything, it felt worse afterward.

Forcing himself from bed, he dressed in casual clothes and went to go see Hollander. Surely the good doctor would know how to fix this.

… … …

"Degrading!? What in the name of the Goddess is that?"

Science and medical jargon were all that flowed out of Hollander's mouth and Genesis snarled. He grabbed the man by the throat and held him up. "SPEAK PLAINLY DOCTOR!"

A choking gurgle left Hollander and Genesis realized he should let the man go so he did. The doctor tumbled but forced himself to his feet, muttering, "Should have expected this, emotional instability would be a logical side effect of the degradation."

"What do you mean, Hollander? What is degradation?-" He stopped the man and added, "In layman's terms."

"Your body is rejecting your enhancements and falling apart. Is that plain enough for you?"

It was Genesis' turn to stumble, falling back into a chair and grunting from the pain of his shoulder. When Genesis had no reply, Hollander went back to his desk, shuffling through some papers.

After several minutes, Hollander finally spoke again. "I expected this to happen and have a few hypotheses on how to fix it."

"What?" Genesis turned to look at the man. "You knew my body would fall apart?"

"I didn't say that."

"You just said you expected it. That means you knew it would happen."

"Now now, calm down Genesis, I also said I know how to fix you," Hollander tried to placate the irate SOLDIER.

Alas, it didn't work. "No, you said you had HYPOTHESES. Tell me, DOCTOR, what do you THINK May FIX MY BODY FALLING APART!"

"The boy!" Hollander yelled back, slamming a fist down on his desk. "It's probable that whatever is healing that boy from his accelerated growth will fix whatever is wrong with you."

Genesis stared with wide eyes at Hollander. Did he really… Suggest…. "Do you mean Azzy?"

"Is that its name?" Hollander flipped through the papers, not realizing his slip.

That single word echoed in Genesis' head several times. Its. Its. Its. ITS!?

"AZZY IS NOT AN IT, HE IS MY NEPHEW! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU HURT HIM!" The next thing Genesis knew, he had skewered Hollander onto his own desk with Rapier.

The Crimson Commander stumbled away from the scene, horrified by his own actions. Hollander was the only one who could fix him! But… he wanted to hurt Azzy!? What…

"I need to see Azzy," Genesis muttered to himself, ripping his sword from the desk and fleeing the room.

In a blur, he fled all the way to Sephiroth's apartment where he pounded on the door, forgetting that he had his own access to the room.

"Who is- Genesis? What is the matter?"

"I need to see Azzy," Genesis repeated himself from earlier, stumbling into the room. "Please, I-... I need to see him."

"Of course," Sephiroth took in Genesis' general state, carefully extracting Rapier from a limp hand, then pulled out his PHS to fire off a message to Angeal, alerting him to come. "Why do you smell like blood?"

"I just killed Hollander," replied Genesis casually as he stumbled the rest of the way inside, spotting Azazel kneeling next to the coffee table. "Hey there Azzy." Genesis held out his arms for a hug and with a smile, Azazel launched himself into those arms.

Snuggling into his uncle, the pair curled up on the couch.

Sephiroth took a seat on the chair that was next to the couch and stared at his friend. "So. What happened?"

Genesis squeezed Azazel and looked up from his curled up position. "Hollander threatened Azzy."

"Threatened him… how?"

"He said… eer- well…"

Sephiroth waited. That was very unlike Genesis, who was usually so eloquent.

"Hollander claimed that…"

As Genesis trailed off again Azazel spoke up in his bright, clear tones. "It's okay Uncle Gen, you can tell Daddy. We help. We can help." He fixed his own bad sentence, feeling Sephiroth ready to do it for him.

Genesis nuzzled Azazel with a smile and then told Sephiroth everything that Hollander had told him before ending with, "He said Azzy could fix it somehow. He wanted to turn him into an experiment. And I…" Genesis took a breath, dropping his forehead onto Azazel's shoulder. "I couldn't let him do that to my precious nephew."

The child was gently patting Genesis on the back, rubbing his head against his and just basically holding the adult. Considering the situation, Sephiroth did find it cute and wondered if it would be wrong of him to take a picture.

Not one to really care about social conventions, he did just that.

The shutter noise caused Genesis to lift his head and glare at Sephiroth but the Silver General just smiled. "Azazel is right. We will help you, Genesis."

"I can do it!" Azazel declared pushing at Genesis so the man sat up more fully.

Genesis felt a weak smile twitch onto his face as Azazel adjusted himself in his lap, kneeling on his thighs so they were a bit closer in height. "You can do what, dear Azzy?"

"I can help you, Genesis," Azazel stated in a very clear voice, much too old for a five, possibly six-year-old. It didn't help with what he did next.

"Azazel!" Sephiroth gasped in shock, seeing his tiny son kiss Genesis full on the mouth. The shock rooted him in place, staring for what felt like an eternity as the pair kissed.

Genesis' eyes had slowly gone super wide as the boy kissed him, mouth slack in surprise. That worked well for Azazel who pushed the small amount of blood from his bit tongue into the open mouth. He pulled away for a second then kissed Genesis again, then finally tapped him on the chin so he would close his mouth and swallow. The reaction was more from his dry mouth of shock, but it worked in Azazel's favor.

(Harry felt it was logical. After all, it had worked the first time he was here on Gaia, why wouldn't it work again this time?)

… … …

It took a few hours for the Turks to finally catch up with Genesis. It's not that they didn't know where the man was, no. Where he was was very obvious.

It's the fact that they couldn't catch him.

Because Sephiroth was chasing him around the Upper Plate, swinging Masamune like a mad-man.

Angeal was contentedly sipping tea (cure-spiked tea. Obviously. It's the same thing Harry remembered doing the first time), while Azazel used his lap as a lounge chair and watched him intently. Angeal did not notice that he was the object of such attention, though; he had his eyes on the skyline, holding back his snickers every time Genesis leapt across his view.

"All done uncle Angeal?" Azazel asked, glancing out the window as he heard his father run past screaming, before turning his gaze back on the commander in front of him.

Angeal hummed then looked down at his cup. "I am, yes. Thank you for making me tea, Azzy." The man ruffled the kid's hair, messing up the pigtails he had. This, naturally, caused the kid to scowl. "You never did tell me why your dad is chasing Genesis."

"Oh, that," Azazel slipped out of Angeal's lap to go throw away the cup. They were in one of the lower-level lounge rooms so they had a good view of the show. "I kissed Gen."

It's a good thing that Angeal had finished his tea, otherwise, he would have performed a spit take. As it was, he choked on nothing and whipped around to look at the kid. "You _what?_"

Going up on tiptoes, Azazel tossed the disposable cup away then turned to smile serenely at Angeal. "I kissed Genesis. It made him better, just like that tea will make you better." The 'kid speech' from a second ago was replaced by perfect adult phrases. Angeal wasn't sure which was more worrying, that or what the kid actually said.

In the end, he didn't get to decide because Azazel pounced on him and snuggled right back up as he had been before. Just in time too as the Turks drag both Sephiroth and Genesis past the lounge.

"We better follow them…" Angeal muttered, scooping Azazel up into his arms and following the group.

They wound up in Rufus' office after a while. Genesis had wanted to hold Azazel again, but Sephiroth growled at him and the pair were hissing all over again like a pair of angered cats.

In the end, Azazel decided to sit on Rufus' lap, facing the man and playing with the multitudes of buttons on his clothes.

Angeal stood back against the wall, watching everything alongside Tseng, Legend, and Gun.

Eventually, Tseng was the one to address the issue as Rufus was distracted by the cutie in his lap.

"Commander Rhapsodos." The formal address snapped through the room like the crack of a whip, causing the pair of Firsts to stop their argument and turn in tandem to look at the Turk. "Now that we have your attention," continued Tseng, "It has come to light that you may have something to do with the untimely death of one Doctor Hollander."

Of everyone in the room, Angeal was the only one who didn't know and he pushed away from the wall with a startled, "What!?"

Naturally, his outburst was ignored.

"It is possible," began the Genesis, "that I may know something in regard to that matter." Involuntarily, his eyes looked at Azazel and then back to Tseng before roaming the room in an attempt to appear aloof.

It probably would have worked on the President, but Tseng was a Turk and a damned good one at that.

The man hummed and looked to Rufus, "If I may sir?" with a subtle gesture towards the console on his desk.

"By all means," Rufus said, somehow engaged in a weird game with Azazel that had the pair laughing.

A warmth entered Tseng's eyes as he watched that before pulling the keyboard over and tapping away. A few clicks and a panel on the wall moved to reveal a monitor. On said monitor was security footage of Genesis' encounter with Hollander.

It merely lacked an audio feed.

"It's clear that you are agitated, Commander Rhapsodos, however without a context to the conversation, we cannot proceed. I'm sure you know about Section 39?"

Genesis' eyes went wide and he actually pointed at the TV… with Rapier. "HOLLANDER THREATENED TO TURN AZZY, MY PRECIOUS NEPHEW, INTO A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT." As he spoke, Rapier began to glow and Angeal quickly approached and lowered the weapon before Genesis could shoot a fireball at the screen.

Everyone in the room took a moment to take in that reaction, except Azazel who was undoing and redoing Rufus' buttons quickly for… no reason. He found it amusing?

Tseng was, again, the person to speak first. "It seems like Section 39 applies here as well, Vice-President." Rufus nodded absentmindedly.

Sephiroth decided to speak up as well. "I would like to cite Section 39 regarding my actions earlier."

Tseng replied with a raised eyebrow, only Azazel's giggling filling the room.

"When I was chasing Genesis around the building."

Silence.

"He kissed Azazel!" Sephiroth pointed at Genesis who slapped a hand to his chest with a gasp.

"HE kissed ME, Sephiroth, for the thousandth time!"

Sephiroth's very dignified response was to hiss and growl at Genesis and the pair were at it again. Angeal attempted to herd them out of the room and to a VR room where they could release their aggression in a safe way, not even realizing that Azazel was left behind.

Not that Azazel minded. The Turks were fun and they taught him fun things. "Can I play with Gun's gun again?"

"You could play with my gun?" Rufus offered and Legend snorted, coughing into his fist to hide his laughter.

"Sir," began Tseng, "I hope you meant your actual firearm."

Rufus blinked for a second and then began sputtering, his fair skin allowing a deep flush to blot over his face.

… … …

Within the week, it was clear that Genesis was getting better. Especially once Azazel accidentally threw a Curaga at the man.

They had returned to the VR room, now that Sephiroth was no longer attempting to kill the red-head, to assist Cloud with training for his second attempt at the SOLDIER exam when it happened.

They would have been more impressed with the action if it hadn't nearly completely drained the kid's mana. But since that was the case, they had to carefully feed him an ether and enforce a naptime. It wound up being an important lesson for the cadet, to never overexert oneself.

It was unfortunate that Azazel had been the reason he failed the SOLDIER qualifications the first time. He had flunked the written exam due to lack of sleep from staying up all night babysitting and then was unable to keep up during the 10km full gear run. This time, Cloud felt much more prepared. Plus, he wasn't on babysitting duty.

Training in exchange for babysitting was a really good deal. It had been Zack's idea, surprisingly. Of course, the tiny blond had some bullies but after becoming one of Azazel's main babysitters, that had mostly stopped.

Plus, watching the tiny blond cadet practicing sword katas with a baby that was clearly Sephiroth's strapped to his back was kind of intimidating to people.

The kid glaring was pretty intimidating too.

The test came and went and Cloud passed. There was much rejoicing as he was inducted into the ranks of the SOLDIER Thirds. The party that Zack threw for this occasion was, to put it lightly, legendary.

It was also the first chance that Azazel got to meet Kunsel which was an experience in and of itself.

The child was taller and developmentally that of a school kid and he was staring, mouth agape, at the ever-helmeted Second class. What was even weirder was the way that Azazel kept pointing to his own chest and then back up at him.

"Azzy, what's wrong?" Cloud asked, crouching down next to the child, running his hand down through Azazel's long ponytail.

"That's me," Azazel declared, still staring at Kunsel, reaching out a hand but afraid to touch.

"Uhm," Kunsel responded eloquently, looking around for a possible escape route from the General's possibly crazy son.

Cloud flicked his gaze between the two and carefully said, "No, that's Kunsel."

"I know that… but…" Then, with all the care in the world, Azazel poked Kunsel in the knee. When nothing happened he stepped closed and groped that leg freely. "Not me?"

Again, Cloud looked between the two. "No, Azzy, no. Not you."

Azazel let out a heavy sigh of relief. "Well, that's different."

"Right…" Kunsel trailed the word off and then pointed to the side. "I've gotta… Bye." And he left.

Azazel watched him, face scrunched up cutely. "That was rude."

"It's okay, Azzy," Cloud gave the child a pat on the head consolingly. "He just doesn't like to be confused. Let's go find Uncle Zack."

"Okay!" chirped Azazel, the entire event forgotten as he barrelled through the crowd to find said uncle.

… … …

It was approaching Sephiroth's twenty-third birthday and Azazel wanted to do something really nice for his father. He knew that he had turned the man's life completely upside down and sideways since being born and Azazel just really… really wanted to thank him.

But he had no idea how.

The child waited in the hallway for his quarry, playing with some of his hair that was pulled back in ethereal looking braids. Eventually, his prey arrived.

"Uncle Zack!"

"EH?" Zack shouted, nearly dropping the three pizza boxes he was carrying. As he was standing outside of his apartment, he shouldn't have been that shocked. "Azzy? What's up?"

"I need your help," declared the child, grabbing Zack's free hand and entering his apartment ahead of him. Zack barely got his shoes off in time and stumbled into his living room as a result.

"Help?" asked Zack, setting the boxes down on his coffee table and stepping around a few pieces of fallen clothing. He didn't bother picking them up. Azazel knew the teen was a bit of a slob. Not surprising, considering he was eighteen. "With what?"

"Dad's birthday. I wanna do something really nice for him, but …" The child ended with a helpless shrug and went back to fiddling with his hair as a result.

Such a ridiculously endearing image Zack regretted that his PHS was stuck in his back pocket. "Well, I can surely help you with that. Do you want some pizza? We can eat and think."

Azazel's green eyes dilated in pleasure and he nodded before running to the kitchen for plates. Zack followed and grabbed some drinks for them both.

Nearly ten minutes of silent eating passed before Zack continued their previous conversation. "What ideas did you have?"

"Book?"

"Nah, he has plenty."

"I know…" Azazel pouted, taking a bite and chewing. "I could make him something?"

"Like what?"

Again, Azazel shrugged helplessly. "If I could find flowers, I could probably make him a vase out of clay or something…" At the word 'flowers' Zack froze and Azazel noticed shortly after trailing off himself. "Zack?"

"Huh, what?" The SOLDIER Second blinked back to reality and then grinned. "I know where you can get flowers!"

"Really?" Again, those cat-like eyes had dilated to show how happy the child was.

Zack nodded a few times, finally adjusting enough to pull out his PHS. "It was in the news recently. You remember that big huge lottery?"

"Yeah," agreed Azazel, returning to his pizza while Zack spoke.

"Well, the winner was this girl in the slums. They're calling her the Sector Five Slumdog Millionaire."

Azazel snorted his soda out of his nose and began laughing really hard. More than Zack thought was necessary because it wasn't exactly funny at all? Still, he got up to fetch a towel.

Meanwhile, Azazel was still cracking up in his head. Slumdog Millionaire. HAH!

"Anyway," began Zack once Azazel was better, "She used her money to buy up a chunk of the Plate and had it removed so she could grow plants of all things." He flashed the article he pulled up on his PHS to Azazel.

"And it works?"

"It works almost TOO well. She's even managed to import a few trees. I remember reading that the air near her nursery smells like Kalm, not that I remember what Kalm smells like, but whatever. I bet it doesn't smell like piss like the rest of the slums do."

Azazel blinked a few times. "Wow. That's impressive."

"I know, right?" Zack took a big bite and spoke around it. "Anyways, Angeal has been crowing about how he wants to go down there, so why not ask to tag along?"

"That's… a great idea, Zack!"

"I have them occasionally," boasted the teen.

Azazel rolled his eyes and muttered, "yeah…. _Occasionally…_"

"HEY!" Zack yelped and shot to his feet. "Take that back!"

"Make me," came the very mature response.

In the ensuing chaos, an entire pizza wound up stuck to the wall. They didn't explain to maintenance how it happened, nor did anyone ask. It was Zack's place, after all.

… … …

Once Azazel was all cleaned up, he was able to approach Angeal and ask him if they could go down to the Slumdog Millionaire garden.

"The what?" Angeal asked, carefully plucking a dead leaf from his plant.

"I don't know the real name of the place," admitted the child, fiddling with his braids. "But it was opened by that lottery winner from the slums?"

Angeal froze, still halfway bent over to look at his plant, thinking about that. "Oh!" He stood up the rest of the way and smiled, "I know the place you're talking about. Of course, we can go there together, Azzy. I just need to ask your-"

"NO DON'T!" Azazel rushed forward and pushed the man on the stomach in an effort to shut him up. It worked too, seeing that the kid had managed to inherit quite a bit of Sephiroth's strength. "Don't tell Dad!"

Stumbling from the push, Angeal blinked a few times and then put his hands over Azazel's on his stomach. His look was warm, fond, all those wonderful adjectives. "Of course." He understood why- the blush on Azazel's face was enough of a clue. "Do you have time to slip away now?"

"Yeah," Azazel shrugged, "I told Dad I was going to see the new Turk trainees. One picked the name Staff of all things." The kid snickered, but knew the name wasn't that bad compared to some of the others, but … still. Staff? He didn't even use a staff as a weapon! He used a gun!

Angeal rolled his eyes but had a smile on his face. "All right, let me grab my things and we can go down to the Slums."

… … …

"Woowwwww…" Azazel walked into the large garden slash nursery with a look of awe on his childish face. His pupils nearly took over his eyes as he tried to take in everything. In an instant, he had dashed away from Angeal's side to run through the many rows of flowers, trees, and potted plants.

"Be careful!" warned Angeal, making sure to keep the grey-haired child in his sights as he began to look through the plants on his own accord. "And don't wander too far!"

"Okay!" Even though Azazel said that it didn't take long for him to feel like he had been all twisted around. Not that he cared. All of his memories from this life were inside of ShinRa tower. He loved it there and he loved every member of his family he made there, but there was just something so... _**GREEN**_ about being around plants.

The child knelt on the ground in front of a huge patch of lilies in many different colors and very gently touched the petals of one of the flowers. "So pretty," he whispered in wonder.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" A voice popped up behind him and Azazel whipped his head around to look at her, his hair flaring around him with the action. "Hello." The girl smiled, crouching down next to him to look at the flowers too. "The flowers. They're beautiful, right?"

Azazel tilted his head curiously, looking up and down her and feeling a memory from Before tingle at him. Then his entire countenance lit up with his grin. "Yes! They're very pretty. What type of flower are they?"

"Hmm… I'm not sure. Rather, I don't remember," she laughed easily as herself, standing to go find the little plaque that was near the flowers. "Oh, I knew they were a type of Lilium. These are a mix of Easter lily, Goldband lily, and Golden Splendor lily."

Glancing up to the lady, taking in that iconic pink ribbon, Harry had to smile. "Can I buy some of them?"

The lady, teen really, blinked a few times before returning the smile. "Of course!"

… … …

By the time Angeal made it to the cashier, part of him had forgotten he'd been with Azazel. That is until he saw the boy sitting on a stool next to the counter, a huge bundle of flowers sitting in a bag next to his feet and a drink in his hands. He was talking animatedly with a lady in a sunshine yellow dress.

"Azazel! There you are!" Angeal declared as if he had been looking for the child and had not actually forgotten all about him in his excitement for plants. The look that Azazel shot him said that he knew what the man was doing and Angeal managed a sheepish smile. "Sorry Azzy."

"I guess it's okay. Miss Aerith kept me company."

"Aerith?"

"That's me! I keep telling this little cutie to drop the miss, but he refuses." The lady in question rubbed the boy on the top of the head and he scowled impressively at her. His hair had been changed since the last time Angeal saw him, now mimicking hers with his own emerald green ribbon in place of her pink one.

"I'm just being polite. You are a lot older than me," stated Azazel, returning to sipping his drink. It smelt like lemonade to the Commander.

"Not that much, sweetie," Aerith replied, smiling in a knowing way.

Again, Azazel scowled at her. He opened his mouth to say something and Angeal, sensing danger, covered that mouth with a slightly dirt-stained hand. "Now now, don't go revealing secrets Azzy." Angeal reprimanded as the kid forced the hand away.

"Ew, wash your hands you heathen!"

Angeal laughed at him and then set down his selection of purchases. "You have a wonderful garden here, miss."

"Don't ignore me!"

"Thank you~" Aerith's voice took on a sing-songy quality, both of them doing just that to the kid. "But please, call me Aerith."

"Angeal," he replied with his own name, arranging his things on her counter to make it easier for her to ring it all up.

"Why are you both ignoring me!" Azazel flailed his free arm a bit, putting his drink down on the counter.

"Just this for you today?" Aerith's smile hinted at her mischievous side and Angeal had to laugh at that, nodding his reply.

"Stop it!" Azazel pouted now, waving his hand between the pair of old people.

"Did you need anything else?" asked Aerith, motioning to a selection of supplies behind the counter. The impulse buy section.

"Hmmm…" Angeal grasped his chin, catching how Azazel had got to his feet on the stool next to the counter. "I think this is good."

She told him the total and Angeal passed over the necessary gil.

Azazel had clearly had enough and finally yelled at them. "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" The stool wavered from the force of it and Angeal caught him before he could fall.

"Hey now," Angeal finally noticed that their playful actions had brought tears to the boy's eyes. "I'm sorry little Azzy, we were just joking."

"So mean!" Azazel whined, rubbing his fists against his watery eyes. "Don't do that!"

Aerith cooed and brushed Azazel's bangs from his face. "I'm sorry too, Azzy." Her fingers were cool against his face, which had grown red and splotchy from his emotions.

An epic pout was directed at the lottery winner and then at the Commander who held him. "Don't do it again. I don't like it."

"We understand," the pair chorused.

Azazel dropped his head against Angeal's shoulder and then wiggled to be put down. Once he was on his own feet, he picked up his bag of flowers with both hands. "Thank you for the flowers, Miss Aerith."

"Of course, Azzy. Be sure to send me a picture of your dad's reaction to them."

That brought a smile of Azazel's face again and he nodded with a little grunt of affirmation.

"Thank you as well," Angeal picked up his things as he said that, the plants arranged into boxes for easy carrying. "I'll be sure to visit again."

"We'll be waiting," Aerith gestured to the plants around her, a happy smile on her face.

As they were leaving the garden, Azazel made a single observation. "She was weird."

… … …

Once Azazel finished making the clay pot with Cloud, he called Genesis to come fire it for him. Because, well, Genesis liked fire and they didn't have a kiln.

"Such a plebian use of my abilities," Genesis whinged, carefully measuring the amount of mana needed to turn the clay into pottery.

"You're the best Genesis," Azazel stated, hugging the man around the legs and resting his head against his side. "Best SOLDIER ever and my favorite mage, the best user of magics on Gaia!"

Even though Genesis knew the kid was just buttering him up, it worked and he smirked before throwing the Firaga at the clay.

The intense heat and a duration of ten minutes were apparently all it took to make pottery in this world. Who knew.

The pair waited another ten minutes before Genesis carefully cast the lowest power Ice he could manage and then Azazel picked up the vase, turning it around in his hands. "Wow. Thanks, Genesis, this is perfect."

All praise was good praise and Genesis was positively glowing.

"Imma go paint this now!" Azazel announced before running out of the room, leaving Genesis like that, alone in a VR room.

A few minutes later a random SOLDIER entered the room and saw Genesis … basking. And turned right around and left.

… … …

It was finally Sephiroth's birthday and Azazel was all prepared to give his dad the gift. His emerald ribbon had been used to wrap around the vase, the flowers were carefully arranged inside, and he had Zack manning the camera.

Sephiroth was immediately on edge when he entered his office and the pair were standing there, smiling innocently. "What is going on?"

"Nothing," they chirped together, maintaining that picture of innocence. Not even the infamous General Glare worked on them.

Finally, Sephiroth sighed and, counting it a victory, Azazel ran forward and grabbed his dad's hand. "Come here, Dad, come, come come. Come sit." Herding the man towards the desk chair, he actually forced him to sit before standing to the side.

"Okay. okay. Are you ready?"

"Probably not," replied Sephiroth, looking at the large mound on his desk that was covered with a cloth.

"Dad," whined Azazel, "You're not being fun."

"I have never claimed nor will I ever claim to be fun."

"Daaaaaddddddddd."

"Fine, what is this?" Sephiroth lifted up the corner of the fabric but got his hand slapped by Azazel for his efforts.

Azazel sent his own glare at his dad then pulled the cloth away himself. "Tada! Happy Birthday!"

With the reaction there for them to see, Zack started taking pictures. Sephiroth didn't have much of a reaction, truth be told, but his eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. It was when his pupils dilated wide and a faint smile spread across his face that Azazel knew it was a good gift.

"Do you like it?" the boy asked, wringing his hands together.

Sephiroth reached down and pulled his son into his lap and hugged him tightly. "Did you make it yourself?"

"Yup," Azazel replied, playing with his dad's hair. "I picked out the flowers too… but I had lots of help."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Uncle Zack suggested the flowers and Uncle Angeal brought me to the flower shop and Miss Aerith helped me pick out the flowers and then Cloudy helped me make the vase and Genesis set it on fire for me." Everything was said in a single breath, Azazel letting the rest out with a huff. Then, tentatively, he ventured again, "...do you like it?"

Sephiroth leaned back in his chair, ignoring Zack who had yet to stop taking pictures, and made sure Azazel had direct eye contact with him. "Azazel. My son. I love it. It is the best birthday present I have ever received."

The child lit up and then lunged forward for his own hug. Zack finally decided that was enough and set down the camera, which was really just Azazel's PHS, and left the room so they could have their moment.

The pair were really just too cute.

… … …

"Nibelheim?" Sephiroth stared at the name of the town on the mission request in front of him. It felt familiar. And ominous. How could a town name feel ominous?

"Dad?" Azazel was laying on the floor of his father's office, doing some school workbooks. The child was much bigger now. Even though he was actually three and a half, he looked like he could be reaching the double digits. The growth charts they still kept for him claimed he was eleven, or possibly a tall ten-year-old.

They didn't really bother with it much after all this time and just went with it.

"Dad?" prompted Azazel again, shifting so his legs were under him and he could rise to his feet.

Sephiroth shook his head and looked at his son and couldn't help his smile. Even though it had been nearly 4 years, he still couldn't believe the joy this gift had brought to him. "Sorry, I was just thinking out loud."

"About Nibelheim? You know Cloudy's from there, right?" Azazel did get to his feet then, going to stand next to his father and blatantly look at the mission request.

It took a moment of thought, but Sephiroth did remember that fact about the cadet. Well. The SOLDIER Third now. "I did know that. Maybe I should send him on this mission."

Having got a good read on it, Azazel hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe. Who else will go?"

"Maybe Angeal. I want it over with quickly and they both prefer broadswords. It could be like a training assignment."

That made Azazel smile and he nuzzled his head against his dad's shoulder. "Good idea. Send Cloudy and uncle Angeal."

Sephiroth planted a kiss on Azazel's head and shooed him back to his homework and did just that for the mission details.

… … …

Fuck. That was Harry's first thought when he realized Lazard- and wasn't that man supposed to be dead? What the hell?- had changed 'Angeal' to 'Sephiroth' simply to 'make the mission go even faster.'

It was bullshit. It stunk of massive piles of bullshit. Or chocobo shit. Whatever!

Azazel was pissed and he was going to stowaway to protect his father no matter what.

… … …

Being a stowaway, when one had magic at their fingertips, was much easier than Azzy would have thought. It was great.

Until his dad found him.

"Azazel," the man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Dad!" Azzy chirped, shooting up to his feet from where he had been curled up in one of Cloud's bags of supplies. It had been so great that he hadn't opened that bag the entire trip over. Because magic.

"Azazel," repeated the general, glaring at his son. "What are you doing here?"

"Uhhh," with no suitable answer, Azzy decided that the truth was the best. "I wanted to protect you?" Posing it as a question would work.

Maybe.

Probably.

Hopefully?

Sephiroth sighed and Azzy counted it as a win. "I'm going to call your uncles and have them come fetch you."

"Okay, cool! I'm going to go explore, CYA!" Azzy dashed away up the mountain.

"NO! Damnit." Sephiroth dropped his reaching hand as if it would stop his son from disappearing. "He knows we are here to take care of the monsters, why would he…" He turned to look at Cloud, who appeared sheepish. "How did you not notice he was in the bag?"

"Everything heavy feels light after enhancements?"

Sephiroth sighed again. "Just… Go after him, please. You know these mountains, yes?" After a nod of agreement, Sephiroth waved the SOLDIER Third off and Cloud took off towards the mountains as well, sword bouncing against his back.

… … …

At first, Harry thought that running straight to the reactor would be a good idea. Even though the two science creeps had died, through no intervention of his own, that didn't mean Jenova wasn't still waiting and a threat.

She wouldn't be taking his daddy away.

At least, he assumed she would be a threat. She'd been a massive threat to him Before the last time here. The third Before, but not the first two.

How did he even keep these all straight in his head?

Anyway, Azzy detoured to the mansion, after dashing into the forest and mucking up his tracks with some monster ones, and launched himself from the ground to the second-story window. He hadn't been fully sure he could do something like that, but he knew he would have at least cleared the fence.

Once inside, he scoured rooms until he found the one with the trick door that he had been told about in the Second Before.

Thankfully, whatever monsters were there seemed to be avoiding him. Or maybe there just weren't monsters yet. Either way, Azazel made it to the crypt unharmed. A quick spell on the door and it was wide open for the pre-teen to explore.

With unerring precision, he went straight for the occupied coffin and thrust off the top with his unnatural strength, inherited from Sephiroth.

"Hey."

The man inside remained still.

"Heeyyyy."

Again, no response.

"Hey. Hey. Hey!" A pale finger reached out and poked an even paler cheek. "Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey." Poke poke poke poke.

Still, no reaction.

Damn, he was good.

"Come on, Chaos, don't you remember me?" Harry finally prodded at the semi-WEAPON and fellow Harbinger of Death, tickling him under the chin.

Golden eyes open and glared at him with a single, growled word. "You."

Harry replied with a happy, pleasant. "Me!"

… … …

It took some convincing, but Chaos eventually climbed out of the coffin and followed Azazel up the mountain.

The closer they got to the reactor, the more the child seemed to wince in pain.

"You can hear her?" growled out Chaos, glad that somehow Vincent remained asleep and so he had control over a relatively normal body.

"Bitch is screaming my ear off."

Chaos hummed, or, well, growled in response and they continued walking in silence.

Once they reached the reactor, Azazel kicked open the door and shouted, "Lucy! I'm HOMMMEEE" in a strange accent.

Considering what Chaos remembered of this child- this _being_, rather, he didn't bother questioning it. It wouldn't be explained, even if he did.

As they approached the main chamber, Azazel went over to what appeared to a control panel and held his hand over it. "Thunder." The spell was said simply, the materia on his bracer lighting up and frying the system in a simple way. The pods in the room, some with creatures inside and others empty, all began to power down.

Then Azazel walked up the steps to the door that declared JENOVA. "All right, Chaos, this is where you come in. You have the power of the Planet, much more than I do. I know how I get rid of her, but I need your strength to help me power that. Savvy?"

"A strange word choice, however, yes, I understand what you mean."

"You're supposed to say 'savvy' back."

"...savvy."

A smile lit up Azazel's face. "Good, now come here." From somewhere the pre-teen produced a golf club of all things. He gave it a few test swings and nodded. Then, just like with the other panel, fried the circuits and forced his way inside.

The statue in front of the Mako tank was ripped off- an impressive feat for one so small (comparatively to the semi-WEAPON)- and dropped to the floor. The child stepped over it and paused, holding his head.

"You dumb bitch… It may have worked Before, but not this time."

Azazel held out his hand to Chaos and he took it. The pre-teen guided the hand to rest on his back, which Chaos did, and then the semi-WEAPON began to feel a drain on his power.

Soft singing left the pre-teen as he lined up his golf club. "So Jenova turns out to be merely an alien… Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me.

"Her personality flaws," the power transfer was taken to the next level and Chaos could see the protomateria glowing in his host's chest. "Give me adequate cause. To send her packing on a one-way trip," Still the song continued, power both his and the child's own, swirling around him, "So her prospects take a terminal dip, her assets frozen, the venue chosen, is the ends of the universe WHOOPEE!"

Then, with that declared word, the pre-teen swung his golf club and knocked just the edge of it against the mako tank. This somehow caused the entire thing to launch out of the reactor and into the sky.

"So long!" Azazel said, wiggling his fingers in the mockery of a wave. "Goodbye, cya!" The smile on his face dropped as he finished the song he'd been singing. "Calamity~"

Chaos took a step forward, hand still on the pre-teen's back, to watch as the mako tank continued to travel straight up into the air, disappearing high into the sky.

"Dang that actually cleared the atmosphere," muttered Azazel before slumping forward onto his knees. Chaos caught the child before he could face plant the reactor floor. "Oh, thanks buddy. Good ole' buddy ole' pal…"

"You ate me before."

"Yeah, yeah I did, didn't I?"

"And you tried to seduce Vincent before that. You have given me two new sets of memories."

Azazel just laughed then passed out.

… … …

Having gone all the way to the reactor and back, Cloud had returned to the inn to speak with Sephiroth. They were outside, quietly discussing matters when a giant rocket shot up from the top of the mountain.

Sephiroth watched with keen eyes and then looked to Cloud. "Was that in the location of the reactor?"

Cloud nodded dumbly. He had CHECKED the reactor!

"Let us hope that Azazel has not killed himself, shall we? We will talk about your observation skills during the trek."

Gulping, Cloud followed his General as they returned back up the mountain.

… … …

Thankfully, Azazel woke up long before the pair reached them. Good too, since Vincent, who had also finally woken up, had some questions.

"Oh hey, Chao- wait. You're not Chaos."

"No. I'm not."

"What happened to him?" Azazel sat up from where he was pillowed on Vincent's lap. Pretty comfy, for an old dude.

Vincent shrugged with all the grace he was capable of. "I believe you merely drew too much power from him. He slumbers as I did before you woke us both."

"Huh…" Azzy hummed and scratched his chin. "Probably why I passed out too. I'm knackered. I wish I had thought to bring an ether. Those things are gold."

Red eyes observed him for a moment before turning to look down the mountain. "You have a very strange way of speaking."

"Yeah, probably." Azzy looked at the man sitting next to him and then smiled. "So what else did Chaos tell about me?"

"Not much… You are Sephiroth's child."

"Yup."

"So Lucrecia's grandchild."

"Yeah, sure."

"... This is not your first time on Gaia."

"Nope. Fourth by my count, but the last time was _really_ fuzzy in the beginning." Azzy shook his head before adding on in a chipper voice. "That's the time I ate Chaos."

Vincent turned back to the pre-teen, who had started to braid his hair in a complicated, twisting fish-tail. "You _ate_ Chaos?"

"Yup. It's a bit fuzzy, like I said, but I'm pretty sure I …" For a moment Azzy paused and tilted his head, trying to remember… "I ate a materia… and absorbed him?" He gave a slight shake of his head, scattering his bangs about this face, and then returned to braiding. "Or something like that."

The older gentleman took a moment to process that. "Say I don't believe you."

"You don't have to. Chaos remembers. I got to know him pretty well the Second time."

"Second time."

"Yeah. It was about…" Azazel trailed off again, doing some quick mental maths. "Gosh, maybe… Seven years from now? In the future? Yeah, that's about when I was born that time."

"That… time," repeated Vincent earning a nod from the pre-teen who had finished his braid. He kept it in front of his shoulder, running his hands through his bangs a few times to give them a fluffy, pushed back look.

Harry felt a bit like Elsa with his hair like that.

"Anyway," Azzy dropped the previous conversation and turned his glowing green eyes onto Vincent, noticing how much brighter everything was around him. Sun must have come out. "Do you want to be Sephiroth's daddy?"

Vincent recoiled slightly, not expecting that at all. "What?"

"Do you want to be Sephiroth's daddy?" repeated the pre-teen casually.

"That-" The gun-man trailed off and sighed. Azazel counted that a victory. Just a few minutes in his presence and he had already exasperated the man. "What do you mean?"

"I mean Sephiroth doesn't know who his parents are. I know because you told me the Second time, but he doesn't know. Every lifetime I have lived here until now Sephiroth has been 'Jenova's son' more than anyone else's. This time, however, he is 'Azazel's Father' and that is his defining role in life. I changed things like I always do.

"And so, I'm asking you, do you want to be Sephiroth's father?" Azazel looked deep into those red eyes, trying to express his intention with just a look.

Vincent seemed to squirm and Azazel smirked. "You want to lie to your father?"

"Well. Yeah, why not? Better you than Hojo." Harry shuddered. That man was always bad news. Fucking Hojo. "And it's not _your_ fault that Loo-cresh-what's-her-name was so caught up in her guilt that she couldn't appreciate what a fine specimen of manhood you are and take you to her bed like she oughta."

Again, the gun-man sighed. He actually pinched the bridge of his nose the way his dad had earlier. Two points! "Get to the point, child."

Azzy pouted at that but continued. "What I'm saying is, if you wanna claim that you're his father, and therefore my grandfather, I'm totally down for it and will support you one-hundred percent!" He ended his statement with a thumbs up, grinning wide.

… … …

Meanwhile, halfway up the mountain.

They were walking at a pretty fast clip, hoping to reach whatever disaster Azazel had managed to find himself in. The child was always getting into trouble- the time the child had got stuck in the air vents came to mind- but this time was potentially the most deadly.

They had just reached what Cloud knew to be the halfway point when Sephiroth suddenly slapped a glove covered hand to his face and then promptly collapsed.

Cloud tried to reach out and catch the man, but he just managed to snag a few silver hairs.

Since the general was already on the ground, Cloud considered the strands in his hand. Then decided to let them go on the wind. No matter how much Sephiroth was his hero and he a fan, it wasn't right to _take his hair_.

As Cloud knelt next to Sephiroth's head, carefully rolling him onto his side, the man started to come to. It started with a soft groan and minimal wince then both hands were brought up to cover his face once more.

"Sir?" prompted Cloud, his own hands hovering as he felt the need to do something but not knowing what.

"I'm fine, cadet. SOLDIER." Sephiroth corrected himself, having gotten too used to referring to Cloud as 'cadet' in the last few years. "Just a headache."

"You used a contraction, sir. Commander Angeal said that means you're probably not fine." It was an oddly specific thing to be on the lookout for, but it made sense under these circumstances.

Sephiroth merely groaned again, louder this time and opened his eyes. He squinted them shut as if everything was too bright and that's when Cloud noticed. He gasped. Those same eyes glared at him but Cloud's mouth just worked like a fish.

"Spit it out, SOLDIER."

"Sorry, sir, it's just. Sir. Your eyes. They've changed."

"Changed?"

"The… pupil, sir."

Mako green eyes narrowed and Sephiroth sat up completely. He retrieved Masamune from where he'd dropped it on the ground and used it as a crude mirror to examine his eyes. "Strange…" he observed, leaning in closer to get a better look.

"Maybe," ventured Cloud, "It has something to do with what happened at the reactor?"

Sephiroth locked eyes with Cloud and then got to his feet. "Your reasoning is sound. The timing indicates something along the lines of what you are suggesting as well. We should hurry." Then he was off again, moving faster than before.

Cloud scrambled to his feet and only managed to keep up because he knew the mountain better.

… … …

By the time Cloud and his dad had reached the top of the mountain, Azazel had managed to talk Vincent into showing him how to tear down and clean his gun and was currently in his second round of putting it back together.

"Azazel!" Sephiroth's tone was clearly worried and it caused his young head to snap up to attention.

"Daddy!" Azazel cried out, finishing putting the gun together in record time and jumping up into his father's arms. This type of thing was always the best part of being reborn over and over and over again.

Sephiroth caught and hugged his son, nose buried his hair. "What did you do?" Glad to know that his son was okay, he immediately went on to the next question. "You have only been calling me that if you have been in trouble lately."

Laughing softly, albeit nervously, the pre-teen tried to misdirect his dad with the next statement. "I found Grandpa Vinny!"

'Grandpa Vinny' shot a glare at Azzy and he laughed. They hadn't really come to an accord about what Azazel had brought up earlier, so he just decided for the man.

"Grandpa Vinny?" questioned Sephiroth in confusion, looking between his son and the man he had gestured to.

"Yup!" Azazel nodded, turning around so his back was to his dad's stomach and hugged his arms around him. "He helped me with the monster in the reactor." This earned Cloud a glare from his dad. Wonder why? "And then told me all about how he worked here a long time ago and how he missed his son Sephiroth then I told him my daddy's name was Sephiroth and I know there can't be _two_ Sephiroths, then decided he must be my grandpa! So: Grandpa Vinny."

While logical on the surface it was also crazy. Harry was aware of this, but he was also betting on the idea of a 'father' distracting his dad. In one… two…

"You're… my father?"

Bingo.

… … …

They stood on the mountain for a bit just talking, when Cloud suggested he go check out the reactor. He came soon to report what he had found to Sephiroth, who then had to call it in. However, his PHS didn't have service up in the mountains and they had to make their way back into town. As it was, the reactor would probably be okay.

Probably.

On the way back down the mountain, Azazel took to zig-zagging around the path. He held his arms out as if he was a plane and would jump from rocks, getting some good clearance. Cloud hovered because he still remembered the baby he changed a diaper for just over three years ago, but Sephiroth knew his son was probably nearly as indestructible as he was.

That is until Azazel skid on something and went down hard.

"Ow! Fuck!" Azazel sat up immediately, rubbing his backside. Then his dad came up behind him and whacked him on the head and he started rubbing that instead. "Gah! What was that for?"

"Language." Was the quick reprimanded, the General giving his son a little once over. "You are all right?"

"My butt hurts, but I think I'll live." Azazel looked around near his feet to see what had been the culprit to send him sprawling.

And his jaw. Just. DROPPED.

"No way."

"What is it?" Sephiroth looked around but only saw sticks and rocks. He could possibly hear a pack of wolves off in the forest and the creak of Vincent's metal gear. It probably needed some oil.

"No fucking way!" Azazel shouted, earning another smack on the back of his head-but he ignored that in favor of snatching up HIS WAND. "How did THIS Get here!?"

The pre-teen scrambled to his feet, not bothering with the dirt all over the back of his clothes, and fingered the wand as if it was something precious.

Cloud approached first, though Sephiroth remained in his crouch and looked up at his son. "A stick?"

"By the gods," Azazel was clearly ignoring them all. The stick was shaken a few times causing sparks to fly out the end. Sephiroth rose to his feet, hand resting on Masamune's hilt. In fact, they all reached for their weapons on instinct.

"You know, you would have been a lot more helpful about an hour ago," Harry told the stick, shaking it one more time and then ran his thumb up the handle. Just as he anticipated, a beam of light shot from the tip and stayed and the boy LAUGHED at his wand-saber. Another rub of his thumb and the light retracted into the stick.

Shock was evident in the group as Azazel tucked his wand away into a pocket, looking at the faces of the men around him. Cloud's face was the best: such blatant surprise. His dad has this tiny, weird crease of confusion on his brow. Vincent's eyes were glowing gold again and Harry knew he was in for more conversations with Chaos later.

Oh well, whatever.

"Didn't we need to get to town so we could call about the reactor?" Azazel took off down the mountain again, resuming his zig-zagging pattern.

It took a few minutes, but the others eventually followed.

… … …

Azazel had to endure quite the scolding that night before bed from all three of the adults who followed. Well, Sephiroth's was the worst, obviously. Cloud mostly whined at him. Chaos laughed and Vincent groaned in exasperation.

The last one was fun because, while it was a scolding- that glare could mean nothing else- Azzy got to console the man with a little pat. "Why don't you go ahead of us to the mansion and start working your Turk magic on those papers? Anything you really need changed I'll work _my_ magic on." Another convenient distraction from the looming conversation with Chaos.

By the time his dad got out of the shower (his scolding had been first) and Cloud returned with their dinner (mmmm… wolf steak!), Vincent was already gone again. Out the window and across the rooftops. Harry had watched him go, wondering if he could do the same thing… Maybe. He had jumped up to the second floor in one go…

It was worth testing later. Maybe Reno would teach him parkour down in the slums?

Enough ruminating! There was wolf steak to be eaten!

The following morning, Sephiroth and Cloud went to go figure out what had happened in the reactor and deal with the monster problem in the area, if indeed there still was one. After all, Azazel had said that he and Vincent had dealt with the monster.

Not long after they had left, Azazel earning a firm, "Stay," from his father, did Vincent show up in their room. Through the window. Harry had vivid flashbacks to being a shinobi.

"Are you a ninja?" escaped his mouth before he could stop it.

The look he got in return held a silent question, but the following look clearly meant he wasn't going to bother.

Score, two points.

"You said you could work your magic on these documents?" Vincent produced a fucking file box from within his red cloak and Harry was shocked. He jumped to tackle the man but was dodged. The pre-teen landed in a pile and glared up at Vincent. An arched brow was his answer.

"Fine, don't tell me how you fit that inside your cloak, whatever, I didn't even wanna know." He got to his feet and brushed off his clothes before snatching the box from his hands. "What are these files anyway?"

"Records. Birth certificate and the like," the referred to items were pulled out the box, having been on the top. "I grabbed some other documents too," Vincent continued as he watched Azazel spread the documents over the bed, only stopping to put his still-braided hair up into a bun with one of the many ponytail holders the kid had around his wrist.

Harry hummed a bit and then went to grab his wand from under his pillow. "What's your full name?" He asked as he went to the birth certificate first, surprised that his father had one at all, and tapped it once he had the answer.

This continued for quite some time. The pre-teen would ask a question and then tap a document. Once this was done, he stabbed his wand through the bun in his hair and snatched up the pile of pictures with glee. It had been so hard to refrain from doing so earlier.

"Oh my FUCK DAD WAS SUCH A CUTE BABY!" Azazel held the pictures out at arm's length before changing the distance dramatically, pulling them right up to his nose to squint at. "Holy Bahamut… I think he was cuter than me. His hair sticks up straight in the front. Vinny, look at this! Look at this COWLICK!" He pointed his finger straight at the picture, covering said cowlick as he did.

Vincent quirked a tiny grin and hid it behind the collar of his cloak. "I had already noticed. His mother's hair was like that too." A look of consideration passed the man's face. "Probably why they both keep their hair so ridiculously long."

"Wooowww…" Azazel shuffled through a few more photos. "I'm glad I don't have that problem in this lifetime. My hair is the BEST right now. I love it. I feel like an elf."

"An elf?" Vincent asked, unable to hide the amusement there. It didn't help that Chaos seemed to be laughing in the recesses of his mind

Azazel just nodded, super distracted. "I need to send these to my uncles." He jumped over to the other bed, this one not covered in papers, and laid the pictures out. The overall spread was taken and then his favorites got close-ups. The entire set of pictures that he took with his PHS were sent out to the group chat he had with his uncles. The chat he had with his uncles that DIDN'T have his dad in it.

It didn't take long for the chat to blow up with messages, mostly from Zack and Genesis. Azazel started cackling to himself.

… … …

The rest of their trip to Nibelheim was pretty uneventful. Azazel got to meet Cloud's mom, who he immediately dubbed Mama Strife, and she blushed and began to, well, mother him.

It was great fun. He planned to write to her regularly.

Anyhoo.

The group returned to Midgar with little fanfare. Veld, who was planning on retiring that year, was waiting for them in the parking garage. Vincent was quickly spirited away with the Head Turk.

"What's that all about?" Azazel asked, looking up from the text messaging stream he had going with Aerith about a new shop that sold gorgeous hair picks. He'd taken to wearing his wand in his bun and liked the idea of hair picks.

Sephiroth, who had spent the most time getting to know his new father, answered. "Veld was his old partner when he was an active member of the Turks."

"Oh, okay. Hey Dad, can I go shopping down in the slums tomorrow?"

… … …

HOW WAS IT MASTER. BEING OLD.

Harry merely hummed in response, mind still replaying what had just happened.

He hadn't really died, not really. It was more like he just… faded away. Though his body had felt old. It had ached and creaked, but his face maintained its flawless youth. The biggest indicator had been his hair which was pure white by the time he had faded away.

He imagined it wasn't that different from those who disappear off into the Lifestream.

"Not much different from being young, I guess," Harry answered, turning to look up at the shadows that made up the mass that he referred to as Death. "That was my fourth time on Gaia."

YES, MASTER.

"Four times, Death. FOUR."

YES, MASTER.

"... What do you have to say for yourself?"

There was a long period of silence before Death answered.

THERE WERE MANY PLOT HOLES.

"Oh, gah, fuck me," Harry laughed, dropping his head back. "Well, at least I was able to actually sleep with Genesis in this life."

The next moment of silence was spent remembering that experience with a half-dazed smile, followed by a smirk when the aftermath popped into his head. "Best 72 hours of my life."

72 HOURS?

"Well, it took Sephiroth a while to find us…"

("YOU SEDUCED MY SON!" "_HE_ SEDUCED _ME_!")

"Plus, I had definitely inherited the man's stamina."

(Genesis' red face and limp were more than enough to explain what had happened.)

Then, "Hey Death, what happens if I go back to a world I have lived on before and meet with my old self? Like my ACTUAL old self? Like … There's two of me in that world at the same time?"

I DON'T KNOW MASTER. WHY DON'T YOU GO FIND OUT?

Harry's scream of, "WHAAAAA-" tapered off as he was shunted off into the reincarnation cycle. ...Twice.

… … …

* * *

**AN: I couldn't stop myself. I went crazy in the shower and the entire plot came to me. And then it ran away from me, wtf, how did this get so long!? **

**Slumdog Millionaire joke was literally just a joke from my beta and I ran with it. **

**Also, I wish you could experience these fics in the order I'm actually writing them, not publishing them. I have… nine other stories for this series STARTED and not finished. Including the multi-chaptered one I posted a while ago. Not to mention my MacGuffin full of plot ideas that haven't been written. Anyway. I love Unhinged Harry lol. **

**The song Harry-Azzy sings when he rockets Jenova off into space is taken from Aladdin. It's Jafar's, "Prince Ali." **

**Wolf steak is a reference to Secretary to the Generals by fringeperson, one of my favorite fics of all time. I've read it at least 10 times. **

**Mama Strife is a reference to several fics that use that same title, but I was mostly thinking of that one series by Gothams_Only_Wolf. **


End file.
